How perfectionism distorts the Gospel | Astrid Melton

Astrid Melton post

Scrolling through work emails I click on the one titled: ALL EMPLOYEES MUST READ! A pep rally type announcement opens, announcing this year’s grand mission: eliminating all errors.  “Zero mistakes in the workplace, please!”

Sounds achievable in theory if we communicate diligently and dutifully carry out policy and procedures. The unspoken added phrase is there, too, “Everyone ought to try just a little harder. Nothing short of our best will be good enough.”

I feel skeptical. While I relish the idea of near perfect performance, we simply don’t hold the kind of power that promises continuous mistake-free moments.

‘I believe in grace!” I am tempted to yell at my computer, but refrain from typing out my thoughts. Perfectionism has its place, especially when people’s lives are at stake. Still the call to perfection makes me nervous and fearful, pushing an old button. I even thought I was over perfectionism. In parenting I tell myself that less than perfect is just fine! I remind my kids, “Mistakes are how we learn!” Progress is our family goal, not perfection. I’ve lowered my impossible standards and expectations in favor of peace and rest. I’ve settled into my messy reality, accepting the way things are. I am happy here where grace abounds, not eager to drastically up my performance. A call to perfection disrupts my new found freedom and peace.

Sometimes Scripture pushes that same button. While you won’t find the word “perfectionism” in the Bible, it does mention “perfect” a few dozen times. Only perfect sacrifices are acceptable gifts for God in the Old Testament. In the New Testament trials are helpful tools in becoming “perfect and complete” (James 1:4). Paul writes about “the good work which began in us and will be perfected until the day of Christ.” (Phil 1:6)

Not to mention Jesus’ rather direct statement: “So then, be perfect, as your father in heaven is perfect.” (Matt 5:48)

This type of statement disrupts my peace. My button flashes yellow alert while my mental baggage and preconceived ideas want to attach themselves to these challenging words.

Jesus knows I am not perfect so suggesting that I could be confuses me.

For too long I’ve viewed this sort of verse as an invitation to partner with Jesus in perfection. Is Jesus then endorsing perfectionism by offering to infuse his perfect life into mine? This is what I used to believe and strive for. I also used to focus on challenging verses outside their context.

So I started reading the entire passage in Matthew, which concludes with “be perfect as your father in heaven is perfect…”

Surprisingly the preceding paragraph does not mention behavior or performance or any other sort of striving. Instead it describes perfect love. The father’s perfect love is an outrageous sort of love that extends to enemies, offers prayer and compassion for those who long to harm. This perfect love embraces outcasts, strangers, even those who will never reciprocate.

Perfection from this point of view means being radically committed to wholehearted love. God’s perfection is demonstrated by the way in which he loves.

When Jesus refers to being perfect like the Father, I believe he is asking us to enter this perfect, complete, non-discriminating love. Not to become perfect in behavior or do something perfectly, but be actively present to a greater love. To enter a greater story where perfection is anchored in love. There is no shame or fear in love. Love is the perfect bond. (Col 3:14)

Every time John writes about perfection, he also mentions love. I appreciate this reminder because I tend to put love and perfection on opposite ends of the spectrum. Love is grace-filled and messy, perfection is neat and measurable.

I am learning and relearning to allow Jesus to redefine what this means for my faith. For now though we can safely assume he’s invited us deeper into his story by embracing perfect love.

Not only loving those who pat our backs, praise our children and bring us dinner, but intentionally and radically embracing the critic, the homeless, the ill-willed. Loving the rebellious, self-absorbed, the stranger and refugee. Love for those who will never thank us, know us or love us back. No strings attached.

Perfection according to Jesus is rooted in love. For you. For all.

 

Astrid MeltonAstrid Melton grew up in Germany before coming to the US for a year abroad at age 16. She stayed to obtain her masters degree in Physical Therapy, got married and became a US citizen a couple of years ago. She currently works part time in outpatient orthopedics/ pediatrics while homeschooling her three children and pursuing her lifelong dream of becoming a writer. Find more #freewriteramble at her blog: astridmelton.com 

 

 

Reflecting on Blank to Beautiful

dawn_profileBy Dawn Klinge

And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.  -Philippians 1:6

Facing the computer, blank screen in front of me, silently, I will the words to come forth.  Nothing happens until my fingers hit the keyboard.  Even then, with that first tap, tap, on the keys, I have little idea of where these words are going. I only know that I want to create something beautiful.  I must start somewhere.  God help me, I pray.

  The words sound clumsy.  They aren’t beautiful.  Keep going, He says.  I look around at other pages, reading other people’s words.  They’re beautiful.  I want to write like them.  I delete my words, ashamed.

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  Facing the cross, crucified Jesus in front of me, silently, I will the words to come forth.  I’m sorry, I say.  Please forgive me.  Even then, with that first heartfelt prayer, I have little idea where this life is going.  I only know that he’s beautiful and I love him.  He’s on that cross because of me, because he loves me.  I must start somewhere.  God help me, I pray.

  I’m a mess.  I keep doing things to hurt the One I love.  Keep going, He says.  I look around at other people’s lives.  I think they’re beautiful.  I want to be like them.  I take my eyes off Jesus, ashamed.

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  I start again.  Tap, tap, tap on the keyboard, the words coming faster now.  God help me, I pray.   I’m scared but I keep going.  I don’t know if I have anything to say that people will want to read.  I want them to think my words are beautiful.  He helps me anyway.  My words are rough, but I put them out there for others to read.   And then I want to take them back.  I want to hide.  But they’re out there now, and I can’t take them back.  My words are still not beautiful, but I ask God to use them anyway.

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  I’m still a mess, but I turn my eyes back to Jesus.  He’s no longer on the cross.  Now he lives and I have hope.  I still sin against the One I love, but God sees me as beautiful, because of what Jesus did for me.  I keep going.  I want others to see the beauty of God in my life.  I feel their eyes on me as I stumble.  I want to hide.  But I pray that God will use me anyway.

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 I continue to face the computer.  Tap, tap, words fill up the screen.  God help me, I pray, because I want my words to point to Him, who’s beautiful in every way.  Keep going, he says.

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 I continue to face the cross.  My beautiful Jesus reminds me that I don’t need to hide.  When I stumble, I just remember that he already took care of it.  I want others to see my Savior.  He tells me to keep going, and I continue to ask for his help.  I see a little more clearly where my life is going now.  One day, my rough draft will be done, and it will be beautiful, because the author and finisher of my faith will use it for his glory.

Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God.  -Hebrews 12:2

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Dawn Klinge attended the 2015 Faith & Culture Writers Conference. This essay was inspired by the theme of the conference, Rough Draft: From Blank to Beautiful. Find Dawn’s work at Dawn Klinge.